Great gift ideas for developers

The developer is a complex creature.  Understanding his or her wants and needs can be difficult, and oft times scary.  So, in hopes of saving you the time of getting to know your developer(s), I’ve compiled a list of gifts that should please or help even your most discerning developer.

 

#5. Lego Minecraft

We developers, for whatever reasons, cannot or will not grow up, so toys are always a good choice.

^{Lego Minecraft - Micro World, the Nether. Retail price, $49.95.}

This is a particular wonderful choice because it’s both building blocks and sensationally video game themed.  So, a two’fer.

Obviously, due to this being an awesome distraction, your developer’s performance may suffer.

 

#4. Back support

The daily life of a developer is, in a word, arduous. Imagine, slouching in a high backed office chair, for 8 to 10 hours during the day, only getting up for nourishment (coffee, bacon, fantales), and then heading home to resume a slouched posture in front of a TV or PC.  Back support may not endear you to your developers, but they’ll know you care…  and they’ll be less likely to take sick time due to back pain.

^{A lumbar roll. Prices range from $30 to $50 on average.}

A word of warning, your developers will fight you on this. It’s understandable, by now, the angle of back incline is probably anywhere from 45 to 75 degrees. Trying to straighten out that crook is going to be hilariously painful. Pop some corn and enjoy the show.

 

#3. Headphones

The developer’s taste in music covers a wide range. Anything from Norwegian black metal to death grind metal. Most developers are going to barely tolerate your choices of music, and well, the non-developers in the office will run screaming from the building if you crank dev-music over the office speakers. Like a dog from a dyson vac.

^{Bose QuietComfort 25. Retail price, $299.95}

I know what you’re thinking, I’m not spending anywhere near that for my developer. Fair enough, don’t come crying to me when your dreams are filled with shrieking noise and mythical norse gods. Alternatively, there are cheaper noise cancelling headphones out there, just bing it.

 

#2. KFC

Your developers will love you forever. They’ll finally, truly know, that you understand them.  You speak their language.  Bucket.  Say it… Bucket.  Can also be known as “bucket of gold”, “bucket of the finest”, “The Colonel”, and so on.

^{Bucket of Original Recipe, 21 pieces. Retail price $34.95.}

God I’m starving…

 

#1. Sunscreen

Most developers don’t receive more than 5 minutes of direct sunlight in a day. As it’s Australia, and the holidays, your developers are going to forced to interact with family and friends out in a wilderness setting, like a cafe with outside seating, or under extreme situations… a beach bbq.

^{Cancer Council SPF 50+ sunscreen lotion. Retail price, doesn’t matter.}

Seriously, if you care for your developers, even in the slightest, or at least don’t want to have to find new devs, get them super strength sunscreen.  Ever heard that B52’s song, Red Lobster?  Yeah, like that. Except this is Australia, so we’re talking Radioactive Melanoma Ridden Red Lobster.

 

Okay, well…  from all of me, to all of you, have a safe and happy Festivus.